I'm laying in bed, trying to think about what to say to you.. Gatsby is asleep at my side, his little nose is buried into the crook of my arm, which by the way is my definition of pure happiness and my mind is blank. I'm begging, willing the words to come and they have gone silent. Those words I love so much: they're gone tonight. I blame the Unisom I took two hours ago that I think is finally starting to kick in. Also the 125 hours I've worked in the last 2 weeks.
I turned to my beloved Ted Talks for answers, as I so often do when I get in this state and as I scrolled through the topics, this thought popped into my head. I'm sorry in advance if this post doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I'm kind of writing it down as it comes to me....also Unisom:
You're doing just fine, darling.
You're doing just fine, where ever you are. Where ever you're at, you're doing just fine. Whether you live in an apartment or you own a home, whether you're working your dream job or killin' that 9 to 5, you're doing just fine. Don't rush to close this chapter because you think the next one will be so much better; wrap your arms around this moment, this time, these experiences and know: you're doing just fine.
I've spent so much time convincing myself that if I was skinnier, prettier, funnier, more mysterious, smarter and more resourceful I would be good enough. I wondered if my worth would diminish if I couldn't buy a home in the next year, or if I was considered behind because I won't get married or have a baby in 2016. I've agonized over the size of my clothes, the way I write this blog and how different it is from the one I wrote (and quit) just last year, and based my worth around both of them. It's pointless, I know.....but it's human nature to compare yourself to the ones who seem to "have it all".
But you know what? I'm doing just fine. And I'll get where I'm supposed to be, when I'm meant to get there.
I want you to know, right now: you're doing just fine, darling.
You really, really are. And I promise you, if things look a little dark and dreary right now they will get better. Because they have to. You will get exactly what you're looking for and you will be just fine.
I used to remind myself that I had a 100% success rate in surviving tragedy, and you do too. You really do.
This just kind of came to me, like a little bolt of lightening and I had to share it. Normally I'm not this......buttery? on my blog but it seemed like an encouragement I needed to share.
I'll get back to the sarcasm and tough-love lessons on Monday. But this weekend, I hope you know you're doing just fine, darling.
Stay warm out there, especially if you live in the South. It's stormy and cold here in ATL and I just wish we would get some snow!