Just Go Left

The Best Relationship Advice I've Ever Received


If you were to ask me what I value most about my relationship with Kyle I would tell you it’s our ability to play as a team.

Have you ever seen the movie “The Guardian”? If you haven’t you need to see it or else this blog post will make zero sense……also Kevin Costner is in it and I have a soft spot in my heart for Kevin Costner.

Fun fact: he grew up in my hometown.

Another fun fact: he looks EXACTLY like my dad.

Anyway, “The Guardian” for those of you who haven’t seen it, is about a group of Coast Guard Rescue Swimmers who brave the icy waters of Alaska to rescue those shipwrecked or lost at sea. It’s a film about love, life, sacrifice and teamwork; about never leaving a teammate behind, never letting them drown.

And did I mention Kevin Costner? I did, right?

I have a point, I promise.

When Kyle and I first started dating, we were both drowning, or it felt that way at least. I was struggling with Warner’s illness and the financial toll it was taking on me; Kyle was dealing with struggles of his own. There were times when I felt hopeless, that he had to help me find strength; there were times he was discouraged and I would offer him a light at the end of the tunnel. It didn’t happen right away, but slowly we learned to swim together; how to navigate the current and how to support each other when one of us couldn’t swim.  We became a team. There have been times over the course of our relationship when Kyle swam for the both of us; pulling me to safety when I couldn’t find the strength to swim on my own. There have been times I have done the paddling, carrying us through the currents to the shore. But we’ve never left the other behind; we’ve never let the other drown.

A friend once told me some of the best relationship advice I’ve ever heard, and it kind of goes with the whole "Guardian" analogy:

“You have to go through every season with someone to truly know them.”

In our relationship, I’ve learned how to lead and when to follow: when it was his turn to carry us and when I needed to be the strong swimmer. It's like going through the seasons of life with someone; summers of fun, winters of cold and struggle, in between times of content.

Through the good and bad, I've learned to accept and appreciate the way we work with each other, and support each other when we aren't in the same season of life, or when we need to be the stronger swimmer. 

And we’ve had some REALLY cold winters you guys. We’ve also had some pretty amazing summers.

But no matter what season we’re in, no matter how strong the tide? We both know we are 100% in it together.

And when you find someone like that? Someone you can hibernate with in the winter and blossom with in the spring? Someone who can be the stronger swimmer when your current gets to strong? Who will pack your lunch and leave it in the fridge with a note when you have a stressful week? Never let them go.

Even if they snore.